Goodbye, Peanut Butter (A3626055)

She was a young Shepherd mix girl who came in as a stray last year. She was adopted February of 2007. I saw her back at the Carson shelter on June 4, 2008.

Despite her bad luck of being brought back to a high-kill shelter, she was still a happy, spirited, sweet dog. They had her kenneled with a young Dalmatian female.

The Dal girl was lucky. She was rescued. Peanut Butter was killed the morning of Wednesday 6/11/08. Exactly one week after she was dumped back at the Carson shelter. The morning of the day I was going to be there to pull her from Carson.

Rest in peace, sweet girl. I am sorry I was late in coming to get you out of hell yesterday. You will no longer suffer and wherever you are now, I hope you will give me the strength to continue to help your brothers and sisters who are still in need and are waiting the chance to be placed into good, loving homes.

Subject: A.Word.A.Day--karuna

karuna (KUH-roo-na) noun

Loving compassion.

[From Sanskrit karuna (compassion).]

"Once we experience and feel this inter-dependence of all living beings, we will cease to hurt, humiliate, exploit and kill another. We will want to free all sentient beings from suffering. This is karuna, compassion, which in turn gives rise to the responsibility to create happiness and its causes for all."

Suresh Jindal; Interdependence of All Living Beings; The Times of
India (New Delhi); Nov 13, 2003.

Voice of the Voiceless

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Poet Laureate of Humanity

I am the voice of the voiceless:
Through me, the dumb shall speak;
Till the deaf world's ear be made to hear
The cry of the wordless weak.
From street, from cage, and from kennel,
From jungle and stall, the wail
Of my tortured kin proclaims the sin
Of the mighty against the frail.

For love is the true religion,
And love is the law sublime;
And all that is wrought, where love is not,
Will die at the touch of time.
And Science, the great Revealer,
Must flame his torch at the Source;
And keep it bright, with that holy light
Or his feet shall fail on the course.

For he who would trample kindness
And mercy into the dust--
He has missed the trail, and his quest will fail:
He is not the guide to trust.
Oh shame on the mothers of mortals
Who have not stopped to teach
Of the sorrow that lies in dear, dumb eyes,
The sorrow that has no speech.

Oh, never a brute in the forest,
And never a snake in the fen,
Or ravening bird, starvation stirred,
Has hunted his prey like men.
For hunger, and fear, and passion
Alone drive beasts to slay,
But wonderful man, the crown of the Plan,
Tortures, and kills, FOR PLAY.

He goes well fed from his table;
He kisses his child and wife;
Then he haunts a wood, till he orphans a brood,
Or robs a deer of its life.
He aims at a speck in the azure;
Winged love, that has flown at a call;
It reels down to die, and he lets it lie;
His pleasure was seeing it fall.

The same force formed the sparrow
That fashioned Man, the King;
The God of the Whole gave a spark of soul
To each furred and feathered thing.
And I am my brother's keeper,
And I will fight his fight,
And speak the word for beast and bird,
Till the world shall set things right.

King of My Heart

I walked the kennels at Carson yesterday afternoon. Particularly in building 2, one attentive dog kept following my every move whenever I happened to be near his kennel.

I did not want to look at him. Not because I didn't care about him, but because at quick glance, I saw that he is a Pit Bull. I love this breed but I am also absolutely useless when it comes to being able to help get them out of the shelters.

Whenever I am at the shelter, I always make an effort to not make eye contact with any of them. If one happens to catch my eyes and insist that I come over to visit, I would find myself asking for his or her forgiveness at my helplessness and inability to give him or her the help so desperately needed.

King would not allow me to pass him on. His gaze was strong and insistent. It happened when I was sitting on the floor right across the way from his kennel looking in on Barney (A3790050) I did not look over toward his direction at all but I could tell he was intently looking at me.
It was a good 10 minutes before I finally relented and glanced over toward his cage.
There sat a magnificently calm and gorgeous dog looking right at me. I came over and he immediately exchanged the calm exterior and jumped into a dance of joy! He genuine joy was infectious and I found myself sinking onto the cement floor right outside his cage talking to him. He pressed his whole body against the mesh wire of the cage door so that I can pet him from his head to his tail.

It was clear that he has won over my heart. I looked at his kennel card and noticed that someone has given him the name "King". King (A3773848) arrived at the Carson shelter on January 15 by way of being discarded by "the family". He is just 4-years old.

King is a special dog. One who could be the ambassador of his breed. Despite his circumstance and current situation of being stuck in one of the worse shelters in the LA County system, King is bright and hopeful. It was as if all the hope and joy and whatever the components of a bright sunny day were gathered and packed into this wonderful being dancing around his cage in front of me. Not only was my heart swelling up with love for King, I found myself in awe at his resilient, fighting spirit!

I told King the truth. I told him that I'm not much help when it comes to helping his breed, because of all the stigma and prejudices from society against his breed. I told King that I will try and hope that by some miraculous chance, I can get him help to get out of Carson by walking out through the front gate. How? I've no idea but I know I have to try.

Goodbye A3780642, I'm Sorry You Couldn't Find Your Friend

He was euthanized today. He never stood a chance. Impounded on February 4th as a stray, his photo never was put up on the Carson website. If he had a family looking to find him, they would not know he was at Carson, not with so many other Pit Bulls impounded there. Not without a photo.

A3780642 was destined to die at Carson and he did. He lived 9 days at the Carson shelter. He was photographed by a photographer for the LA Times and was in the newspaper yesterday. Did the reporter and the photographer know that he had just a couple of days to live from the time they met him? Did they know how he came to Carson? Did they care?

Goodbye, A3780642 you beautiful boy.

Friend Wanted

This is the picture under the title of "Animal shelters are under scrutiny" an article published in today's edition of the LA Times. This beautiful dog is a stray impounded on 2/4/08. His impound number is A3780642. Ironically, they have him listed at 10 month of age - the same age as Zephyr when she was impounded on 10/27/07.

The Carson shelter has yet to put his photo on the website. He has long since passed his stray hold period so he can be euthanized at any time now. If he has a family out there looking for him, likely they will not find him because his photo did not show up on the shelter's Lost and Found page. This is perfectly normal practice for the LA County Shelter system. He is a Pit Bull so he gets even less attention and is even less worthy of their effort.

He is one of many stray Pit Bulls who will end up losing his life in the LA County shelter system. His amber color eyes say a lot. They are full of sadness, fear and confusion. I have not met him but just looking at this photo of him, my heart aches because I know just as he does, that he did not ask for any of this. He did not ask to be born in to a world already full of homeless pets; he did not ask to be born into a world where the majority of the people have wrongfully concluded and condemned his breed as dangerous and deathly.

The photographer for this article titled this photo "friend wanted" so I thought it appropriate to name this blog entry the same.

A3780642 is looking for a friend. Someone who will be his savior and help take him out of hell.

Zephyr's story

She was picked up in Culver City on the block of 6300 Green Valley Circle as a stray on 10/27/07. A3745343 was her impound number and this photo here was her Carson shelter mugshot. Zephyr was just ten-month old. I saw Zephyr's photo on the LA County DACC's website but I never got to meet Zephyr while she was still alive. My rescue partner who at the time, was still a volunteer with the Carson shelter (she has since been 'fired' because she spoke out on Zephyr's behalf) met Zephyr and thought she was a sweet, darling puppy. She put a "Call when PTS" on Zephyr hopping to be able to get Zephyr out of Carson.

This was a photo of Zephyr taken by my rescue partner. Zephyr was still vibrant and full of life in this photo.
However, like most all the animals at the Carson shelter, Zephyr came down with upper-respiratory infection. What made her even more susceptible to this URI was the fact that she ever received any vaccination upon impound. She never got her Bordetella and DHLPP shots as she was supposed to. I have Zephyr's record to show that she never got her vaccinations. What is being sent via the PRA will be a doctored piece of document. It will show that the shelter gave her Bordetella and DHLPP on 11/27/07 - the same day they reported her very sick and recommended that she be humanely euthanized. My rescue partner never received the call even though she had asked that they call when Zephyr was to be euthanized. It's interesting though that they would give Zephyr her shots on the day she was reported by the veterinary staff to be very ill and on the very day that the shelter vet recommended that Zephyr be put to sleep. Does that make sense to you? It makes no sense to me. The reason is that the department of animal care and control lied. They never gave Zephyr a chance. She was never vaccinated. She fell ill and they failed to treat her so she died IN THEIR CARE.

This was Zephyr looking on and around her in the late afternoon of Friday 11/30/07. One can hardly recognize that she is the same puppy who was so full of life just a few weeks prior. In this photo, we didn't know that it was Zephyr's last night being alive.

What happened to Zephyr did not have to happen, but it did. I am sure there are many, many more like Zephyr dying in the LA County shelters right now as I am writing this blog entry. Their deaths will not be known as Zephyr's death would have been unknown had it not been for us showing up the morning of 12/1/07 to try and get her out to a private emergency vet.

If you are reading this blog entry, I hope that Zephyr's short tragic life touched you the way it touched me and forever changed my life. Four days after Zephyr's death, my rescue partner (former Carson volunteer) and I rescued another puppy (8-month old) from Carson. Justin was his name. Justin also died from distemper (he received his vaccination 3 weeks after he was impounded at Carson). I was able to get Justin's cremain. I did not get Zephyr's cremain as Marcia Mayeda sent her body out for the necropsy.

A Magnificent German Shepherd

I was at the Downey shelter on Saturday, Feb. 2 when I met this beautiful German Shepherd. His kennel card listed him as an 8-year old female with the name Roxy. Roxy turned out to be an intact male who was turned in on January 31, with a euthanasia request.

He wore a tired, sorrowful expression in his eyes as if he knew why he was there. He had elbows that were thickened by callous skin. One of many indications that he spent his entire life as an outside dog who was neglected. His fur was clumpy as if he was just recently hosed down and was drying out.

I sat outside his cage as he pressed his nose to my hand to give me a gentle kiss. The space he was allowed was just too small. One could tell that he was at one point, a majestic looking dog. We sat together in the sun for a while. People passed by and he would look up to see if they would pay him a second look. No one did.

He and I both knew that it was not his time to go. I told him that I didn't understand why people can be so cruel, how they can just decide that it was time to end a life just like that. I told him that not all people are like that, that there are people out there with broken hearts because they know about him and dogs like him, but like me - are helpless because we don't have any place to take him to.

When it was time to go, I asked him to go through the guillotine door to the inside part of his cage because I just couldn't bring myself to walk away from him. He looked at me and he understood. He walked through the door and went in.

This is the last photo of him taken by Ryan Olshan.

I looked for him when I got to a computer an hour later but could not find his record. I know he is gone. I hope that his last moment was as peaceful as it could have been even if it was at the Downey shelter. I hope whoever it was who took him from his cage and walked him for the last time to where he took his last breath was someone kind and compassionate.

Here is my prayer for him and all the animals who shared a common, untimely ending like his.

A PRAYER FOR ANIMALS

Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our
friends the animals,
especially for animals who are suffering;
for any that are hunted or lost or
deserted or frightened or hungry;
for all that must be put to death.

We entreat for them all Thy mercy and pity,
and for those who deal with them we ask a
heart of compassion and gentle hands and
kindly words. Make us, ourselves, to be true
friends to animals and so to share the blessings
of the merciful.


--- Albert Schweitzer ---

Three sweet dogs

These three dogs never stood a chance.

This Chow Chow girl (A3768333)
was the subject of an email because her photo was taken while she was restrained by the come-along pole covered by the towel in the photo. I knew that she would not be walking out of the Carson shelter when her stray hold period is up when the photo on the Carson website for her never changed. In the past, when an email is sent out, a new photo of the dog would be taken and put up on the website. When her photo remained the same, I knew they would kill her.

This poor dog was impounded on new year's eve. I met her in person on Saturday 1/5. She was very sweet and friendly when I came to her cage. She walked right up to the front with her tail wagging and a smile on her face. I spent some time with her, I told her I am sorry that I couldn't help her get out of there. A3768333 was killed on Tuesday 1/8/08.


This wonderful, sweet boy (A3768163) was also impounded on new year's eve. His sad, worried eyes instantly captured my heart when I first saw this shelter mug of him on Carson's Lost & Found page. I went to meet him on Saturday 1/5, the same day I went to meet the Chow Chow girl. He was kenneled right across from Cooper's cage. He watched me when I was sitting outside Cooper's cage. He wanted to get my attention so he would not stop barking until I came over and sat outside his cage. He pressed his entire body as close to the cage door so I can pet him. His eyes didn't look so sad and worried when I was there with him. He was just happy to get some attention so his tail was wagging non-stop. I fell in love with him right there and then.

He was a great dog. At just a little over a year old, he must have lived somewhere before he ended up at Carson. He looked like he was well-cared for by someone, but for whatever reasons, no one came to look for him at Carson. If my rescue status was not suspended, if my ability to adopt as a private citizen was not illegally and unethically taken away from me - I would have been able to buy this dog some times. Instead, I found myself asking for his forgiveness. I asked him to forgive me for not being able to make a promise to get him out of there. I think he understood, because he sat down and licked my hand through the cage door.

A3768163 was killed on Tuesday 1/8/08 along with the Chow Chow girl.


A3763894 was turned in to the Carson shelter by her family on 12/18/07. She was very sad when I met her on 1/5. It was as if she knew that the chance of being adopted into a good home would not be hers. She was as quiet as her eyes in this shelter photo.

Dogs are wise beings. I read somewhere that "dogs know what we know and they also know what we don't know". It's very true. This darling girl knew I love her; she knew that if I could help her, I would. She knew that I couldn't help her that day, but she was just grateful for the time I spent sitting outside her cage. She knew I would have to leave her there but that I would never forget about her. The bond we formed that day will be with me always.

She too, met her unfortunate ending on Tuesday 1/8/08.

These three dogs' lives were cut short at the Carson shelter. They were not killed for irremediable suffering and definitely not for lack of spaces. There are empty cages at Carson and these three dogs could have been given more time. The reason they were killed? to keep the Carson shelter at a "manageable" level. It is one of the ways administration devised to keep the Carson shelter looking "clean" and "presentable" to the public after the media firestorm that resulted from the tragic death of Zephyr.

The LA County Department of Animal Care and Control is in dire need to acquire the "care" part to support its name. This definitely is not possible under the current leadership.

Meet Cooper (A3764901)

He arrived as a stray on 12/21/07.

He was supposed to leave Carson on 1/7/08 but when his guardian angel showed up to pick him up, she was told that he needs to be SAFER tested since he is of an "aggressive breed". He is to be SAFER tested in the morning - by someone who supposedly failed the class on SAFER assessment.

Does this look like the face and eyes of an aggressive dog?

You decide. Cooper is one of many dogs who are wrongly labeled as aggressive. Cooper's life is still in danger as we do not know what will happen in the morning when the staff takes him out to evaluate his temperament.

Justin's cremain

I was given Justin's cremain today. Along with the beautiful box that his ashes came in, there was also a clay impression of his paw print.

It is sad that all that is left of the beautiful puppy is in the wooden box. Justin was cheated out of the chance to be adopted into a good loving home. The only comfort that I can take is the fact that Justin's ending was not like that of Zephyr's. He went knowing love and human kindness from the staff at the hospital where he was taken to after we got him out of the Carson shelter. He got to experience the wonderful feeling of walking out of the Carson shelter through the front gate then jumping into my rescue partner's car where he enjoyed the ride immensely. Justin was able to live the last few days of his short life being cared for by compassionate people who loved him.

Their eyes

"Oh! you poor thing! I wish I can take you home with me! I wish I can take all of you home with me!" is what I hear most often when I am at any shelter - even the nice, private animal care facilities where the difference is night and day compare to the public shelter like the ones in the LA County shelter system. I understand completely this heartfelt desire to be able to help each and all of the dogs sitting in the kennel. This poor Rottweiler (A3764901) came in on December 21, 2007, wearing this chain and padlock. He is affectionate and friendly despite the word "Caution" written on his kennel card, despite being just skin and bone and severely neglected - he is still friendly and trusting. Are we as a race, that worthy of such unyielding devotion and loyalty?

It's in their eyes. Their eyes have the ability to form instantaneous, unbreakable bonds. All it takes is a single glance lasting no more than a nanosecond and I would find myself forever connected to the being peering out at me from behind the cage door.

It matters not the breed or mix of the dogs. They can and often express their emotional state through their eyes with a certain rare innocence and candor.

A3768163 came to the Carson shelter on new year's eve. I wonder if his family is out looking for him. I hope that he has a good family with people who loves him and are out there looking for him. Because if he has people who loves him, he still has the hope of going home again.

A3763282 strayed on December 15, 2007. She has been at the Carson shelter for a while now. She sits in her kennel hopeful and waiting. She has long since passed the legal holding period so now her life is likely in danger. Like the sentiment most often expressed by visitors at the shelter, I wish I can take her home. I wish I can help give her another chance to become a member of someone's family.


A3763253 is truly an unlucky girl. Not only is she homeless in a very high-kill shelter, she happened to be born as the most persecuted breed of dogs in history. As young (just a year old) and cute as she is, her chance of making it out of the Carson shelter alive is slim to none. Hers is a breed that has been abused, victimized, and wrongly branded with a reputation so terrible that any time a dog shows up at the shelter bearing a far removed resemblance to her breed, he or she will be relegated to certain death. Hers is a breed that has been betrayed over and over by a society that has long decided to turn and look the other way.

A3767669 will likely share the same fate as A3763253. He was relinquished and signed over to the shelter on December 28,2007. The look in his eyes tells me that he knows the fate he has been handed and even though it is very sad, he has resigned himself to accept it.


A3766326 can tell his story with this photo taken in the rolling crate at the Carson shelter.




A3753295 is a three-year old Husky mix girl abandoned at the Carson shelter by her family on November 17th, 2007. She has been there nearly two months on borrowed time. I wonder if she will make it out of there. I hope she does.


A3764494 should be able to go to his breed specific rescue group, but likely he is still at Carson because the groups are maxed out beyond their capacity. He must wait. He is not of a breed that has been shunned and deemed vicious by society so he still has a chance of catching a special person's eye and win over this person's heart. It is his only ticket out of the Carson shelter.

This wee pup of a girl arrived yesterday as a stray. At just two and a half months of age, A3769073 has the cute puppy factor working in her favor and as long as she stays healthy she will make it out of Carson. My hope is that she will be adopted by a family who will make the lifetime commitment of loving her, caring for her. providing and protecting her for the rest of her life.

I fall in love often. Each and every time I am at the shelter, my heart swells with love for them. I look into their eyes and we form an unbreakable bond. The promise I've made to them is reinforced and they know that no matter how tough it will get; how painful the heartbreak - I will never give up on helping them.

The Unwanted

It is a common sight to see the line of people out the door with animals in tow when one visits an LA County shelter. The dogs either sit quietly as if they understand what is about to happen to them or they would pace back and forth in distress and fear, every once in a while, they'd look up with the hope of catching their person's eyes. It is an extremely difficult and heartbreaking sight for anyone who knows the dog's capacity for unconditional love.

These dogs are the unfortunate victims of a disposable society. No longer wanted by their families, they are about to be disposed of at the shelter. Some are young, rambunctious; some are middle-aged and mellow. The absolute heartbreakers are the senior dogs.


A3764020 is an 11-year old male German Shepherd mix who lost his home on December 18, 2007. Despite his age and bad luck of being turned in at the Carson shelter, this wonderful dog still managed to look dignified in this shelter mug. He knows that his chance of making it out of the Carson shelter alive is slim. His family no longer wanted him because he is an old dog. It would take a very special person to see what a special gem he truly is.


A3765757 is a 13-year old male Shih Tzu who lost his home the day after Christmas.
They turned him in with his sweater. When I saw him three days later, he was curled up fast asleep on the plastic raise in his kennel. He was still wearing his sweater.
Despite all the commotions and barking around him, this sweet dog slept as if determined to shorten the hours he would have to be in fear and sadness because the Carson shelter is not the home he has known for the last 13 years of his life.


A3766777 is a 14-year old male Jindo who became homeless on December 27, 2007. The confusion and fear shown in this photo taken while he was still being held in the rolling crate never left him. He was found laying on the cold concrete on the outside part of the kennel still shaking with fright two days later when we came and met him. Those sad eyes are even sadder in person. He was curled up into a small little ball in the corner of the kennel.


A3767817 is the oldest of the bunch. At 15 years of age, this Labrador boy was dumped the morning we were at the shelter. It was the morning of December 29,2007. He is a gentle, wise, and well-mannered dog. He was put into the rolling crate and forgotten for over four hours.

He sat in the small rolling crate just patiently watching people passing by, waiting for someone to notice him sitting there. Not once did he bark or made any fuss from the cramp space he was in.

He was still sitting there as we were leaving the shelter. Just waiting.

The sight of the people standing in line waiting to turn over their dogs always hit the hardest at my heart. I have decided to stop asking the question "why?" a long time ago. It comes down to being able to dispose of responsibility without any second thought. The over abundance of everything in society have resulted in the ease of disposability - of practically almost any and everything including innocent lives.

These four sweet, sad and homeless senior dogs likely will not walk out of the Carson shelter alive. They are just four of many, many dogs who will meet their unnatural, untimely end at the hands of people they don't know; people who likely have been made apathetic and callous because it is part of the job to extinguish the lives that have become an inconvenience in a busy disposable world.

Westchester (A896771)

Westchester is about three years old. He has been at the West LA shelter (part of the LA City Shelter system) since August 27, 2007. He must be an exceptionally great boy to still be at the shelter for over four months.

I came across his photo on the last afternoon of 2007. His eyes expressed such a forlorn and profound sadness that they instantly brought tears to mine. They summed up the plight of the homeless animals sitting in shelters everywhere waiting for the chance to become a beloved member of a family; waiting for the opportunity to experience human kindness and to know what it is like to be truly loved back in return for all the unconditional love they have bursting in their hearts to give. Some quietly wait - even if it is for the inevitable end to come - they still wait, suspended in a state of perpetual hopelessness.

May the new year bring Westchester a great home where he will be an adored and cherished member of the family; where he will be loved and well-cared for by compassionate people who will be worthy of his unconditional love in return.